Divorced parents at your wedding: how to avoid conflicts
Future newlyweds always want a miracle. Sometimes it means that divorced parents stop quarreling. Indeed, at his wedding, every person wants to see both mom and dad. But the complex relationships of parents may suggest that you need to make a choice in favor of one of them. However, you can still try to safely resolve this seemingly insoluble situation.
Case No. 1. Parents divorced for several years
If parents have been divorced for a long time, then this is easier to do. Passion calmed down, mental pain is not so strong. You probably know the approach to your parents. If you communicate freely with both of them, that’s good. But you need to prepare dad and mom for the wedding in advance. You need to show all your charm and ingenuity, to find arguments that are difficult to object to.
And, most likely, you will succeed quite simply. After all, parents are already accustomed to their new relationship, built them, so the presence at your wedding will not be too much stress for them.
Case No. 2. Parents broke up recently
If the parents divorced recently, then they are probably not in a very good relationship. But in no case should you make a choice in favor of one of them, so as not to offend the second. Both for father and mother, you are a child, and even if parents do not live together now, this does not mean that for some of them you are not part of the family. It is necessary to invite both to the wedding.
You must convince your parents that their presence is equally important to you. Say that you are very upset if someone can not come to the celebration. Believe me, all mothers and fathers want their child to be happy. And at least for one evening your family will be able to unite for a joint holiday.
Case No. 3. Parents have new families
To invite new family members of your parents to your wedding is a delicate matter. If you are friends with your mother’s new husband, as well as with your stepbrothers and sisters (if any), then, of course, you need to invite everyone. In this case, the father’s family must also be called in full force, regardless of relations with her. Let them decide who will attend the celebration. If you basically communicate only with the parents themselves and ignore their new relatives, then you can not invite them.
The participation of divorced parents in organizing a wedding
Usually parents make a significant contribution to the organization of the wedding of children. In the case of divorced parents, this can provoke conflicts. Each of them will most likely have their own vision of triumph and their own understanding of what contribution should be made to their organization. Discuss with each of the parents how he is ready to help you, and agree to some help. At the same time, you should make it clear that the last word on all organizational issues is yours, and you take the recommendations of your parents simply as good advice.
If the parents have a very bad relationship, it is better not to tell them in detail what exactly helps (or even less so) the second one. Just tell your mom that dad helped you enough in preparing for the wedding, and tell dad the same thing about mom. And be sure to thank them at the celebration itself.
Think about what can cause conflicts at the wedding, and try to do everything in advance to avoid them. For example, contrary to tradition, do not sit parents together. Let them be in different parts of the hall and nice people sit next to them – everyone will be calmer.
Ask one of the guests to look after your parents. Even if at first everything seems to be calm, it’s not a fact that it will also be towards the end of the holiday. Alcohol will weaken control, memories stir up dying emotions, and a quarrel may flare up. Have your uncle, aunt, godfather, or just a close family friend follow the ex-spouses throughout the evening. This should be a person who is familiar with both parents and inspires respect from them. He should be distinguished by his sensitivity, ability to smooth sharp corners and a good sense of humor.
Before the holiday, be sure to tell the host about the nature of the relationship of your parents, and that they are divorced. A facilitator can also be a good ally for you in conflict prevention. He will build the program as correctly as possible so that your parents almost do not intersect with each other.
Do all the preparatory work described above, and just relax on your wedding day. You do not need to constantly think that someone will quarrel. You have already done everything to prevent this. The rest is in the hands of your family. Set yourself the right mood for this day, and then all your guests will adjust – they will have fun with you and behave with dignity.