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I will suggest you look at a small fragment of a conversation between two well-educated and already loving each other people. Their names are Ricky and Kate. This small conversation…

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I want to give birth to a child from a married man

A year ago, returning from a business trip, I stopped by my friends and involuntarily witnessed a discussion of the life situation in which there was one woman who decided to have a child from a married man. The discussion was quite emotional, sometimes opinions were directly opposite. They also turned to me with a request to express their opinion.

I replied that only a serious, deep conversation with this woman would help clarify the situation, and it would be possible to suggest options for her harmonious resolution. To my surprise, two days later she came to me for a consultation.

As it turned out, having decided to give birth to a child from her beloved man, Nina, so called this woman, shared her intention with loved ones, an adult couple, whose opinion she valued. They were a great authority for her. Contrary to her expectations, they reacted to such news sharply negatively, believing that the birth of a child from a married man and his upbringing in an incomplete family doomed him to a difficult fate in advance.

Her joy gave way to fear and she came to me in dismay.

Making contact
At the beginning of our conversation, Nina was very excited, did not know where to start the conversation. With my calmness and sincere heartfelt participation, I managed to win her to myself. As a result of a keen interest in her life situation, I managed to successfully establish contact. Ten minutes later, she calmly told her story.

Clarification of the situation and the request
The communication format is a cordial confidential conversation.

Nina, 32 years old, very attractive blonde, well-mannered, diverse range of interests, but loves dancing the most. Friendly, friendly, she was always popular with the opposite sex. However, all of the previous relationships with creating a family have failed.

Three years ago, she began to go to classes in a modern dance studio. Conducted classes a male trainer of good looks, well-built. Nina liked him right away; studying in his group was easy and comfortable. She soon learned that he was 37 years old, married, has a daughter of 8 years. She just took note of it, nothing more.

However, a year later, Boris began to give Nina increased attention, to offer meetings. She, knowing of his marital status, refused, reminding him of this. She did not want to have a relationship with a married man, it was against her rules. But Boris was very persistent. He evoked sympathy with Nina, and one day she agreed to dine with him. Boris confessed his love to her, saying that he could not do anything about it. She does not go out of his head. To Nina’s question “What about the wife and daughter?” Was followed by a story about the following contents:

He and his wife Larisa have known each other since their youth, they were engaged in ballroom dancing together in one pair. The relationship was friendly. When he was 27 years old, all his friends were married, and his acquaintances, and his parents, insisted that it was time to become a family man, all the more so, Larisa, a pretty, smart girl, and she had known each other for a long time, would not fail. So he decided to marry, he never met true love. And now, having met Nina, he realized that this had finally happened.

So Nina and Boris began to meet. The girl fell in love, every meeting was a holiday for her. I tried not to think about the future, because I knew that there were no prospects. She did not want to destroy the family, and Boris felt his responsibility and believed that before he divorced, he must first raise a daughter.

Two more years passed. They became very close and looked forward to a new meeting. But Nina turned 32 years old, and now all relatives and friends began to annoy with talk of marriage. Especially tried the parents with whom she lives together. Constantly complain, they say, such a clever and beautiful, but all alone. So the grandchildren will not wait.

The matter was aggravated by the fact that maternal instinct was growing in her, the desire to give birth to a child from her beloved man became stronger. Nina was still not going to insist on a divorce. I counted only on my own strength, but my parents offered their help. In one of the meetings, Nina could not stand it and told Boris about her cherished desire. He reacted to her great joy positively, and life for her was filled with a new meaning. Inspired and happy, she decided to share her joyful intention with close friends, to get support, but expectations were not met.

Request Formation
After listening carefully to Nina, I realized that she needed help to more specifically formulate the purpose of our conversation and expectations from our communication. I realized that one of the reasons for her doubt was the condemnation of her decision by friends. Notes constantly sounded: “I want a baby so much, why friends don’t understand me”, “Is my decision to give birth to a baby wrong?” “Doubts haunt me.”

I asked her to concentrate and think that she wanted to get as a result of our conversation, to paint the future desired picture of life, where she feels comfortable and happy, and the ways to achieve this happiness.

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