What to learn from a European family
The rational and very useful achievement of the European family – the lack of division of responsibilities between women and men, may seem controversial for a Russian person, but it works with a high degree of efficiency.
For example, the decision of who exactly in the family should make money is made from the real possibilities of the family, that is, the one who knows how to do it better earns. And the gender issue does not arise here. If for the common benefit of the family the spouses agree that the wife should go to a good job after maternity leave, because she will earn more than her husband, he will safely take on the function of the father on maternity leave, and paid. This is provided by the state and justified by the rational law of life.
In this situation, the European family does not have the opinion that the husband is weak and dependent, and the wife is not a “draft horse” who “plows” to feed everyone. These are stereotypes rather of Russian society.
Of course, it is still difficult to apply such a family model in Russian reality, but people with a business approach, not only look at this model, but also live well in it, especially if they are not guided by the traditional public opinion.
The statistics are such that Russian women are ready and many would prefer such a family alignment, but, unfortunately, the male half does not even want to take care of the household, children and parents, even if it is not possible to answer for earnings . They are ashamed to do this, but, unfortunately, they are not ashamed to earn little money and not be included as compensation in the even distribution of responsibilities for caring for the house and children.
A business approach to redistributing roles and responsibilities would be effective in a Russian family if women were given the task of calmly and confidently delegating responsibilities for men to housekeeping and raising children, if a woman realizes that she will achieve much more in society than her husband, and advance the family to a higher social level, as well as teach men to disconnect from the social attitudes of society and begin to master a new model of self-realization.
It is easy to learn from a European family to get along in different cultures.
In Europe, couples with very distant cultures are getting along and happy. European couples, due to cosmopolitanism, are most often mixed. A couple can be a Frenchwoman and a Moroccan, a Corsican and a Thai, a Libyan and a Serb, nobody is surprised at this now. Some cultures have more freedom to choose a partner in life, some are more traditional. For example, I happened to be at the wedding of an Indian and a Chinese woman in France, both speak French and mixing the two cultures nevertheless builds them according to the basic lifestyle of the country in which they live, and therefore in French. In such couples, the attitude is more tolerant of the traditional habits of their spouses.
Their art of tolerance is not only about accepting the culture of a spouse, it is a matter of course, and most importantly, do not impose your culture on a partner, do not load it with traditions, duties and traditional rituals and habits.
This shows the great achievement of the European family as a whole, the ability to live, respecting his partner, whom he loves, to be proud of his choice and not pay attention to the prejudices of society.
Everything is based on values formed by the independent life of a person in his youth, already outside the parental home. French youth, for example, gain experience of living together, try to live in different cultures and learn to build relationships before creating a family, and not vice versa, as is often the case in Russia. Therefore, in France there are many families who sign up after five, or even after ten years of marriage, and are in no hurry to do this even after the birth of children.
In families where cultural characteristics live normal and do not strain the atmosphere, they create their own distinctive world in which husband and wife are partners who can agree on everything. If someone in a pair more insists on their traditionality, there is a risk of parting, so this is a matter of personal space and personal freedom of everyone.
The first unspoken law of a European couple: live the lifestyle of the country you have chosen and share your culture as much as your partner is ready to accept. To become cosmopolitan means to become a tolerant person to all cultures without simultaneously renouncing one’s own.
Russian spouses often encounter a misunderstanding of their foreign spouse when they too actively introduce Russian jokes. Phrases from favorite films like “Bambarbia – Kirgudu” or “The Bird Sorry” sound especially stupid, since they create nothing for a person besides confusion. You wanted to defuse the atmosphere, and your spouse, on the contrary, tensed. A foreigner does not have the same experience in a humorous situation as you.
First, out of courtesy and curiosity, a foreigner in love is intensely interested in the culture of his Russian wife, in order to understand and accept her, poor thing, that’s all.